lilac skies
what i feel is comparable to rage
intense and overwhelming, it engulfs
submersed in emotion
but on the other pole

the love is like a sweeping blanket
draping me on all sides and I gaze up
drift away disintegrating
hands clasp and my heart bursts open

the beauty I can feel, piercing and permanent
I paint my life with tones and shades
and there is nothing left but us
fear fears when these eyes lock and
a new universe sprouts (pink and blue)
tell me some things
tell me what a family is —
tell me why they love you.
what did you do to earn their love,
what did they do for yours?
can a child love their creator/s in the same way parents love their kin?
And a sibling, kind-of love, where does that fit in?
who is loved more is it partner or parent?
partner or child?

tell me about the cost of a love
that pains more than it heals.
on what conditions do you love?
and how does family feel?
the way i feel
when you kiss my lips,
when you caress my soul and
my spirits,
I cannot compare at all.
I don’t know a lot,
but I know love.
I know you, I know us,
and if I’m lucky,
you’ll be mine forever.
Will you take my hand,
and make me your husband,
until the very end?
her
pridefully
sinking in the muddy water
stared at my life preserver.
stared as you gave me your hand both
gave me hope but unless i choose
it did no use

and then you showed me it was you
waited for the change in mood
and i saw the love flicker how could
i ever let you go

new muse
deeper emotions
i can't wait
and i am no super human but
if you keep me around
together we can share
        some feels
and this journey through
the cosmos
our own universe.
transcendental elements
what does it mean to transcend?
is it mental or physics,

can i ask you to, or expect it of me?

is it measurable,
desirable?
the questions boundless give less
an answer than a definition

give deeper self-purpose selflessly
and achingly break from the pack.

there is one purpose i suppose,

don’t forget you are each the deity you
worship
surely
the entrance to the grotto
stares through me;
and as it seemed
you were invisible, I noticed.

and vicariously dove to depths
admiring the fauna
residing therein.
who are you to reveal to me?

a glimmer and a prayer, good
for nothing
try as you may only I have the key, and I
am ready to open your vault.

and procure it I will,
if you would only allow
silence
somewhere i know
not you seven years ago
perfect mind to live
unwind your knot, and
strength to straighten out

but broken bent
never can become again
not everything can be recycled
a fresher start of it all
for someone
writing writing
writing down
the thoughts that fly in and around my obtuse
head

i am really thirsty for this
done learning start burning
time to let the sinking go
forth from my not-so-forthright
father’s son
sitting down and take it slow

welcome to the vortex
maybe if it is not so
the way we wanted to grow,
not so fucked up at all
but unabashed and feeble try
to paint the world perceived of mine
these polarizing fumes
these polarizing fumes toss the hair
across my back
the sheets and twisted legs
lie motionless until someone has to
breathe

no smile is properly photographed
because of dimension
in this moment and something fearful inspired

breakfast for two?

I keep opening my eyes to see a freer bird with clipped wings,
without fear

and this bold world is better off with you here
Ghost of America Past
Sit and rest my child,
hear the tale I speak
The world is quite treacherous
many it defeats
When I was just about your age
the land was torn apart
Ravaged by religious hate and rage
people killing people killed the country’s heart
Fear of those not like us
forsaking our own kind
In gender, race, religion, blood
no similarities could we find
The poor were stripped naked
the insane degraded
Women repressed
brave humans found identities in peace and paraded
were shot in the streets and the world only prayed

“Oh what a tragedy” they’d say over coffee,
“How could GOD let happen, all the violence we see?
It’s terrorism and the gays, they just shouldn’t be
How dare they say it’s my guns, I have rights!
They are the reason this country is free”

Free to bleed the blood we all share
freedom to hate, rape, pillage beware
We were at war, all to repair
“Trump is the answer to all our despair!”
And sat there in apathy
we watched all too passively
The empire was shredded and democracy fell
to the people too selfish to feel any sympathy
They stomped on their graves and they cursed out the brave

who set fires and riots to point out inequality
“All lives matter!”
Yes but that’s not the point,
BLACK LIVES MATTER TOO.
EQUALITY MATTERS TOO.
Only saw what was different
blinded by our pride
“You don’t have enough,
but I’ll keep what is mine”

“Sharing is communism, don’t tell me what to do!
I’d rather die than give any to you.”
And that’s why we don’t live in peace anymore
The tipping point tipped and down we all fell
There is some insight to why we’re in Hell

The greatest country on Earth, well for just 1%.
We let it all go and couldn’t prevent
the downfall of freedom our pride couldn’t stop,
gave into bigots and laws that were meant
to punish and segregate, but never protect
Some wisdom from the future, it isn’t too late
The world isn’t dangerous, humans are
Surrounded by feelings of fear and of hate
Drop all your guns before humans aren’t.
untitled again
Take note
poetry is easy
like the blood that flows from this broken molar
or my slit and empty husk
there is nothing that breaks this spirit

For you cannot break something quite broken
Laugh and look at yourself
All points sign to you
glimpse inside or take this needle
       The pen my lady, that is my drug
being a human being
As time passes
The friends I had slim down
Attention wanes and the man in silver
Looks less like him and more like me

A privileged depression
Very few can afford
But those witnesses share a larger portion of my heart
Than I could ever hide

Blessed by nature
Grateful to no God
(Except Mother)
All I wish is for a different
       type of sunset
Don't look we're suffocating
Like an upside down chest
Decompressed
A sigh of restless relief
Channeling
What it feels like to sail against the wind

A current bleeding under the tongue
floods my lower senses.
And steady the inhalation,
Exhale but you will see
       I cannot repent.
ice and decay
Slip hip dripping from the jaundiced winter twigs
Shut in and incubating
watch me start my hibernating

Is it the rain or cold or darkness draws drops from these eyes
To sleep through the longest night
Solace and sun-less-ness seep out my roots
And comfort found in pain for something much the same

A rude awakening?
       Or was I supposed to say goodbye
potential .
that emotional tie drawn in pencil
around the axis of your outline,
shaded in with a rarity
pious and pure,
and to think that we just
met

once upon a midnight dreamy,
and you left before you let me
we had so much, I could see the ink
sharp
       but it was only
indefinitely
You are a bad habit
to think of, to picture
what you are doing and
where you are going. It
isn't that I miss you
or that I wish I had
you back, you are just a
permanent mantle piece
in the background of my
brain. I'm not waiting for
you to change, another
round, or for retrograde
amnesia to erase
the trauma. Just because
we found it doesn't mean
all of eternity
we will be together.
Bleach the black, unstain my
heart, and reminiscing
one last time, press delete.
Injections replacement
replication, into
collapsed, broken blood-ways
addict
Bold enough to acknowledge
That I have a problem,
Naïve enough to let it blister
And splinter into every vein and capillary
and through every flowing crease until
they see the flood
I wanted the attention
I won’t get it when I die, I do know that
Maybe someone will make me
Fix
The pain eating it’s way out and maybe
One day
I can fix you
fractals
fractals falling freely
out of our thoughts and onto blank pages
and blank stares catch them like blankets
spread out at a picnic

creativity is woven into shades of gray
to a caste of blackness and
untouchable
they tell you to be quiet and swallow the pill

out of space to grow and forced to
stagnate like a mosquito-ridden pond
pick up your dry-cleaned suit
read the paper and mock the outliers
simple
Love is patient,

love is kind,

but people hurt and are mean,

so why should I believe in something

       I will never find

It's true you will never find it, love,

is rare. You cannot buy it at a local market

or gas station

And so when you are patient and kind

and find someone kinder and more patient

who wants to love you let them,

and love them back
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